Working-Mom and Stay-At-Home Dad.

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Sorry for not posting in a while, I made the switch to working mom and life has been busy. When I’m not working, I’m spending time with the family, cleaning, or relaxing. It hasn’t left a lot of time for blogging, but I’m going to try to make more time for that now.

I didn’t expect being a working mom to be easy. Being a stay at home mom isn’t easy, so why would being a working mom be easy? I prepared myself mentally (as much as one can.) for being sore, sleep deprived, and all around tired daily. I promised myself that regardless, I’d make time for family. To help the kids with homework and help my husband when he was getting behind on house chores. Because let’s face it, we all get behind on house duties once in a while. And once you get behind, catching up seems like an impossible task when you have children.

The first week was hard. Everything was sore. I ached everywhere. I felt as if I had been hit by a bus and then it backed up for good measure. I would come home from work and go straight into to a hot bath. Then I had 3 children anxious for my attention. Helping them with homework, hearing about their day, and a baby who just wanted mommy after not seeing me all day. Imagine being so sore you can’t stand it and then getting down on the floor to play with your 6-month-old baby… And then attempting to get off the floor. Not easy!

 

But I did it. I did it with a smile on my face. And the next week, I was shocked to find things being a lot easier. I was getting up for work with ease, making a routine of things. I found the day’s going by rather quickly. I would come home from work ready to do other things besides just sleep. On the weekend I would wake up early with the kids while my husband slept in, I’d work on cleaning the house and getting as much accomplished as I could for the day. I’d have so much energy I didn’t know what to do with it.

Next thing I knew I was volunteering for overtime. 12 hour days, weekends, whatever was available. I didn’t do it because I loved working, I did it because who couldn’t use the extra money? I definitely could.

I did have to slow down on overtime after a couple weekend because I overdid it and hurt my back. Lucky for me it only took the weekend for me to recover and be back to work.

My husband, Devin, became a stay-at-home dad as I mentioned in my last blog. He’s been doing really great with it. I come home and he makes me food, he gets the kids off to school and does the housework. Though I do help him on the weekends or when I have extra energy after work. I don’t do it because he expects it or asks for help, I do it because I know how challenging it can be to take care of 3 kids on top of housework and appointments and everything else.

I think we now understand each other in a whole new way. The other day he said to me out of nowhere, “I now see why it was always hard for you to get things done. Babies are a lot of work.”

I think the hardest part of this change for me is what happens while I’m at work. For the first time in 4 years, I had to miss an appointment. I got a text from my husband on my break telling me all the measurements of our 6-month-old baby, what he and the doctor discussed, how he did with his shots. It was hard.

 

What was even harder was the call I got a few weeks later at work. “Ryder (our baby) crawled for the first time!!” I almost started crying right their in the break room. I missed it! One of his firsts and I wasn’t there to witness it. I thought to myself, why did I choose to go to work? Why do I have to miss these moments?

And then I remembered. Going to work wasn’t about me as much as it was about my husband. Yeah, sure I wanted to go so I could get work experience, but that wasn’t my biggest motivator. My husband was. For the past 5 years, he worked.

He missed so many firsts. So many appointments. But I got to be there for everyone. Now it’s his turn. Most people forget that. Maybe it’s because sometimes daddies seem to not be interested. Maybe it’s because we as moms think it’s our job. But daddies need that bond too. They need a break.

 

I’ve honestly noticed a huge change in my husband. He’s been bonding with the kids in a whole new way. I come home to see him playing with the baby and telling me the new things our 4-year old (Adrian) learned in school. He helps the oldest (Renesme) with her homework and does the dishes. He doesn’t throw a fit or complain about doing these things or try to bribe me into doing these things instead. He’s got a better attitude all the way around.

This is not to say that he didn’t help out before or play with the kids. He’s just doing it on a whole new level now. It’s no longer him doing just what’s expected of him, it’s him going out of his way to give that extra attention.

I’m sad to be missing all the firsts, but I’m happy overall with the outcome of this change in our lives.

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27 Replies to “Working-Mom and Stay-At-Home Dad.

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  3. This is my life! My husband is the stay at home dad and I work out of the home and blog. He is really good at it, and I could not be more thankful!

  4. I’m glad it’s still a happy outcome as it’s supposed to be. When I stopped my 9-5 in exchange for working at home, I felt the same back pain and stress as you did. It turned out to be something under the controllable factors so I at least ended up managing my time and efforts more wisely.

  5. I have a friend who is in a similar situation as you and it’s been working great! Don’t worry about the stereotypes (the other way around/you staying home instead of your hubby). In the end, it’s all about what works best for you and your family. 🙂

  6. That is AWESOME! I get so excited when I hear about stay at home daddies! My husband could do most of it, I think. He cooks and does dishes, I think the overall cleaning of the house would still have to be me and that they’d drive him a little bananas with all of their fighting but he would grow to be good at it just like I did!

  7. It’s really great that you both got to experience that “stay at home” connection with the kids. I think lots of dads do feel sad that they miss out on that, though everyone thinks it’s mom’s job for some reason!

  8. I was a stay-at-home mom for the first few years, but have really enjoyed going back to work. Some days it’s hard to be away, but other days I am really happy to head off to work and spend time with adults doing what I love.

  9. I love this so much –– I respect the decisions that mothers make whether its to choose to stay home or go back to work. Working moms are so badass, though! x

  10. I love how you all are doing what works for your family. Frankly, you have to find out how to give your kids the best you can without input or opinions from others. Great job mom and dad for debunking stereotypes and putting society’s norms to shame!

  11. We are doing this at my house too, my husband has pscoradic arthritis and can’t work, so we decided i’d do it. We have four kids ages 6 and under, so I battle the thought of not being enough, but we are making it work.

  12. I really like that you and your husband have a new found respect for each other. It seems that you both understand what the other has to deal with everyday and you work together and help each other. That is so nice!

  13. Gender roles have changed and that is awesome! I have close friends that she is the breadwinner and he stays home with the child.

  14. Its awesome that you have found something that works for you as a family. It sounds like your household is a real team effort and works really well for you all.

  15. That’s great that the two of you are reversing roles. You both have a better understanding of what each of you is going through. That’s awesome! I can understand feeling bad about missing the firsts, but at least hubby is seeing it and can tell you about it!

  16. Working mom is always not easy, you have to work and even after work, you still have chores to do after reaching home. The good thing is you have your man to help you out at home!

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