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Before having children, we all have this idea of motherhood in our heads. We get these ideas from movies, books, magazines, and the super awesome world of social media. I mean, whats not to love about nice clean houses, children who listen to what they are told and having complete sanity with multiple children? I mean other than the fact that you are looking at 5 minutes of a rehearsed family gathering that is nothing like the reality of motherhood. So today we are going to talk about the Expectations Vs. the Reality of motherhood.
Keeping a clean house. Children pick up after themselves starting at a very young age. Toys are put away, books stay organized. Dishes are done right after meals are finished. Lego’s don’t end up under your feet or in there vacuum and most definitely not within reach of younger siblings. Of course, a few toys will be on the floor, but that’s expected.
Children come up with 1,654,521 reasons on why they can not clean their own messes. “My hands are tired.” “I’m hungry.” “This is boring.” or my all-time favorite “But who’s going to help me?” Dishes are done when you get a free minute. But honestly, what is a free minute when you are a mother? Lego’s will end up in every room in your house, and they WILL be stepped on! Toys will be in every room of your house, but mostly the living room. Even if you give them an entire room for toys. I mean, who wants to keep their toys in the toy room when the living room is so much bigger? Not children, that’s for sure!
Sleep when your baby sleeps. I mean that’s what everyone tells me to do.
When the baby is sleeping you are cooking dinner, doing dishes, attending to your other children. Making 10 phone calls, doing laundry and picking up the house. In those rare occasions that you have already done all this for the day, you are taking five minutes to yourself. Literally 5 minutes because the moment your little angle senses your relaxed… they wake up.
Preparing healthy home cooked healthy meals every night.
Home cooked meals a handful of times during the week. Mac ‘n cheese, hot dogs, microwave meals, take out, or anything simple for the rest of the week. You try to cook every night. You honestly do, but it’s not always easy. Life with kids gets crazy. You get tired.
My child will have manners. They will say please, thank you, excuse me, and all that. When we are in public, everyone will think my child is a perfect angle. They will not have tantrums in the store or cause a scene.
Farting contests at the dinner table to see who can fart louder and longer. Meltdowns in the cookie aisle because you won’t let them have one of each kind. Acting out when strangers are around for a little extra attention. As if you are not already giving them attention every second of the day.
Breastfeeding will be an easy and beautiful experience.
Feeling like your nipple is being ripped off as your baby turns their head before letting go. Once your baby begins sleeping longer periods at night, you think you can sleep longer as well…. That is until you wake up at 3am soaked in breast milk because you body says it’s feeding time. Between the nursing and pumping you feel like a dairy cow.
All natural birth. No pain medicine. Won’t allow them to induce me or break my water. Natural is better!
39 weeks and wishing they would induce you already! Everything hurts and you just want to hold your baby. You’re ready for them to do anything to get your baby out! Then those contractions start coming and your begging for pain meds. Screaming because they are not bringing them fast enough and they insist on checking to see how far dilated you are first.
You will not be anything like your mother. You will NOT use those “mom lines.” Your children will tell you everything because you will be a cool mom.
It’s 9 am. You already used 5 “mom lines” on the children, found yourself giving the same lectures your mom gave you and realized no matter how cool you are, you’re children will not tell you everything.
Your husband will be very helpful. From pregnancy problems, labor, and dirty diapers all the way to the sex talk.
In 9 months you have received 5 back rubs, 4-midnight craving runs and zero times of waking up to the house magically clean. During labor, your husband has one hand holding yours and the other holding the phone. Or any thing else to entertain him while you lay there in pain. As long as he’s comfortable right? You ask him to change one dirty diaper and the world is ending. I mean, he does it, but man it kills him! Then all too quickly you realize men are not cut out for the sex talk. you now have this very confused pre-teen too embarrassed to ask about the jumbled mess of words his father just said to him. Men.
This is not to say that motherhood is not a wonderful, beautiful experience that we all love an enjoy, but you can’t have a rainbow without rain. Motherhood is amazing, but it’s not how tv shows and magizines make it sound. Perhaps next we will discuss the wonderful side of motherhood.
If you have any questions, ideas for a new post, stories to tell, or just want to say hi, feel free to email me. Mommyscrazydays@gmail.com